Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Current Thoughts + Poetry Transfer

Ok, time to write something here. (I do have another outlet for my writing, but I update that even less than this.)

Mainly, I've been busy writing material/new stuff for World of Kulan, as well as for my story hour at the EN World Messageboards.

I've also begun a health and wellness program at a place called the Steadward Centre, which is located on the U of A campus. This is nice, as I get to check out some eye candy, just before going inside to work on gaining strength. Plus, I've lost some weight too. (Bonus!)

I haven't done any 'professional' writing in the last while, as On-Site and the Steadward Centre are taking up all my time. Not that I'm going to On-Site, physically, much anymore. However, I am working redoing my website, The Crossroads.

I'm going for a more streamlined version using Cascading Style Sheets and a better layout, as well as color & graphics. Right now, I'm learning about CSS on my own. The fact that writing style sheets is similar to the C language has helped.

Anywho, just some current thoughts... + another poem transferred over from my website.

Copyright 2004 (C) Robert Blezard.

Today is a day of mourning.
No one I know has died.
No great tragedy has befallen a loved one.
No… it is something else I mourn.

We’ve all heard the expression,
‘I should have stayed in bed.’
But for me, sometimes, its worst then that,
Sometimes… I wish death had come.

Everything that has ever been wrong,
Surfaces from my subconscious.
My heart, my soul...
Shuts down.

I cannot think.
I cannot see the world.
My skin freezes worse than from any wind.
Sorrow, pain… unbridled rage.

Some would call it depression.

I call it being both alive and dead,
At the same instance in time.
All I can do is lay in the dark,
And pray the hate inside passes.

Sometimes it goes as quickly as it came.
Other times it lasts for days.
But isolation is only prevention.
There is no cure for being lost.