Saturday, April 16, 2005

Dark Dreams

Well, I did it again. I resigned up at Why? I have no idea. Perhaps I like to torture myself, or perhaps I had hoped the site was a little more "open" then when I had first signed up for it. In fact, I think I was one of the first people, from my high school, who originally signed up there.

Of course, when I was going through my "really" bad period, a couple of years ago, I terminated my "free" status with the site. It was interesting to see that there hasn't been any new additions to my graduating year (1991) since I left the site.

I think the main reason I resigned up was the nightmares I've been having lately. Dreams that deal with bad times during my life in Forestburg - twisted by the dark madness that now infects my mind and soul. Call it my own personal version of The Dreaming Dark.

Last night's nightmare was especially bad. I dealt with a certain girl I had convinced myself that I was in love with, while living there. And in my own strange, mixed up mind, maybe I was. A "shrink" would tell me that maybe I need some closure, but every time I go there, something bad happens. Either something I bring on myself or something totally unrelated to me.

I never feel better after being to Forestburg. Thus, I don't go there anymore. I don't bury my feeling but neither do I dwell on them. It use to be I had trouble getting that place out of my head, even after moving to Edmonton. And God help me whenever I ran into someone from that place, I either didn't acknowledge them or simply tried to hold back the darkness and tried to be nice.

Well, no more. If I run into any of them and they ask why, I'll tell them why, and be damned if I feel any remorse. It's not even worth going there to see her. Besides, there isn't any guarantee that she'd even be there or want to see me. Thus, I won't go back... ever!

Except in my nightmares.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Time Rolls On...

It is April already? Jesus, you'd think "The World" would wait for you to get, at least, a little better before it consumes another year. Only 3 months until I turn 33, roughly.

Last time I talked about Broken Days and life slowly getting better. Well, today wasn't broken and life is definitely not getting better any quicker.

I've been struggling at the Steadward Centre due to nagging pain and I recently went back to the Edmonton Sport Institute for physiotherapy. There I discovered I have re-injured the same muscle group that I did way back in October, as well as another muscle/tendon.

After the assessment session I wasn't sure if I felt better or worse. Everything was definitely feeling looser, but I was in as much discomfort as when I arrived. It didn't get any better the next day either. Yet, now, a week later I'm feeling that there is less overall discomfort, and I did go to the Steadward Centre today.

Of course, it helps when you DON'T work the area in question. Although, it still felt a little sore when I was done, just not in pain.

Hmm, let's see. What else is new.

Well, Johnn and I have switched player/GM roles, as my Thursday night gaming group is now playing through the initial stages of what i hope will be the Shackled City Adventure Path from Dungeon Magazine. So far, it is going well, although we haven't actually gotten to the first adventure in the series, as I decided to introduce them to my homebrewed campaign world through an adventure called The Burning Plague - heavily modifed to fit into World of Kulan.

I'm also, now, part of another gaming group that gets together on Wednesday night. That one is a little more "casual" and we are playing in the GMs own homebrewed campaign setting. There are actually two campaigns. In the main campaign I'm playing a gnome bard, while the secondary campaign is an evil campaign - I'm playing a human fighter.

Regardless of the campaign, it is a good way to spend a Wednesday night.

Let's see, what else.

Well, my dad helped me buy new swimming trunks, which i've already put to good use. I have a feeling that the next few months are going to be filled with lots of swimming, as I've discovered that walking is just to hard on me physically. (Very painful.) That's okay though, as I'm ready to go through another phase as a "fish".

One of my neighbours moved out today, not that I blame her. She's been having a rough time lately and needed to get away from her boss, who's been stalking her. (The fucking bastard.) I hope she's safe, wherever she ends up going.

Well, that's all I can really think of too write here, right now. Maybe it won't be so long until the next time I add something to this. :-)