Now that I've gone through the process of linking this blog to Facebook, I'll have more of a reason to use it. It will fun to be able to compose a post here and have it 'syndicate' to my Knightfall Press Facebook Page.
Thank you NetworkedBlogs!
Now, a bit of information about what Knightfall Press is and isn't. First of all, it is an outlet for my love of roleplaying and to showcase my writing. It is also where I often post assignments that I have completed for Grant MacEwan University courses. However, I foresee it being less about that, in the long run. I will let you all know how my night classes are going even if I don't post the end results of my writing.
In the past, this blog has been where I post my poetry, which can sometimes be a little dark and disturbing. However, since I don't really want Knightfall Press associated with my poetry, I doubt it will be posted here (unless it is fantasy or scifi related). I have another page for that material on Facebook called The Darkstar.
I've already copied over all of my old poems to the FB page, but I won't be deleting them from here unless they are a bit too explicate. (I've already deleted a few of the more intense poems.) Once I've added enough new content here, I'll probably go back and delete them all.
Links - I've now gone through and updated my list of links. Gone are the music links. Added are several links to blogs and web pages I've become interested in. Most of the new additions are gaming related, but a few are blogs or web pages of close personal friends.
(That reminds me, I must add Chris B.'s blog to the list.)
What To Expect Next - At this point, I cannot say for certain. There will be posts related to my current night class, Greek and Roman Mythology. After two classes, I can honestly say I'm psyched about this course. Reading the required Homeric Hymns and Hesiod books has been more like fun than work. I can hardly wait for my next class, although I do have readings that I'll have to catch up on. (I still don't have one of the textbooks, but I should have it by tomorrow.)
That's all for now,
Robert B.
The geekdom of Robert Blezard.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Something From Class
Here is something that I wrote during Distilled Prose class. It was a simple exercise in Description.
Kellin's Hands
Kellin scraped the rot from his enlarged fingers. He worried over the warts and blemishes across the backs and washed the taint of years of blood and gore from his palms. The left thumb blistered from sword strain; the right pinky twisted from an ancient break. He washed them twice more hoping to reveal their true form. They remained cursed ogre hands as they always did. He sighed in resignation as he gloved them in the black leather of the manticore he slew over a dozen years ago. He could almost see their lost human form through the haze of broken memory. He buckled the last strap, pulling it tightly. He should have washed them again as he noticed that lingering itch on his left index.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Grandfather Gygax
Grandfather Gygax:
An epideictic eulogy for E. Gary Gygax
By Robert Blezard
On Tuesday, March 4, 2008, I had just returned home from class determined to begin this argument but not about the topic you are about to read. I had planned to write a tribute to the Saskatchewan Roughriders regarding the team's 2007 Grey Cup win. However, upon arriving home, turning on my computer, and reading the news of the death of E. Gary Gygax — the man who co-created the Dungeons and Dragons game with Dave Arneson — I immediately changed my mind. The decision was emotional. As I read tribute after tribute by fellow gamers on EN World, a Internet Dungeons and Dragons fan site that Gygax was also a member of, I was overcome with a sadness that I've not felt since the death of my brother. I could not understand it at first. I did not not know the man, but it felt like I had lost someone very close to me. It was a strange feeling sitting in front of my computer with tears welling up in my eyes. It is as if a small part of the game, which I enjoy so much, died with him. In my opinion, no amount of prose or poetry can be compiled to give this great man the tribute he so properly deserves. Yet, I must add my voice to the chorus and pay tribute to the Grandfather of Gaming. I must prove the worth of a man, not based on the sum of his life, but based on the sum of how his life affected others.
Ernest Gary Gygax was born in Chicago, Illonis, in 1938. The son of a Swiss immigrant and and American mother, Gygax's childhood was spent devoted to exploits of imagination rather than serious study. Years later he would discover a new medium for his imagination: tactical war games. This would eventually lead him to create a miniatures game called Chainmail and then Dungeons and Dragons — his most famous creation. Gygax would create other games throughout his life, as well as write fiction novels and short stories in the genres of fantasy, science fiction, and horror. At the time of his death, on March 4, 2008, Gary Gygax was 69 years of age. He is survived by his wife, Gail, and his six children.
Naysayers, such as indie game designer Matt Snyder, have tried to downplay Gary Gygax's life as being unimportant to anyone other than his family. They fail to see how the game he created not only changed the way people entertain themselves but also changed the type of work that many people do on a daily basis. Dungeons and Dragons and other role-playing games provide a way of melding imagination and cooperation into a game in ways that had not been conceived of before. In the past, games have always had defined winners and losers, whether it was old-style board games like Monopoly or team sports like hockey or football. Even a thinking-man's game like chess, which Gary Gygax enjoyed, has a defined winner at the game's end. Gary Gygax changed all that when he published Dungeons & Dragons: Rules for Fantastic Medieval Wargame Campaigns Playable with Paper and Pencil and Miniature Figures in 1974. He and Arneson started a tabletop game revolution that would affect the entire world.
I doubt Gary Gygax was aware of what was to come in the next thirty years as fans of Dungeons and Dragons and the idea of cooperative games molded people and games in completely unexpected ways. An entirely new subculture came to life as role-playing games became a money-making venture. Tactical Studies Rules, which Gygax founded in 1973, quickly became a leader in the tabletop game industry. His company and many others required a new type of employee: the role-playing game designer. Today, these men and woman owe their livelihood to Gygax, whose initial creation inspired them to seek a different kind of career. After the initial explosion of the game's popularity, it was not long before the growing computer revolution also became infected by Gary Gygax's genius as fans of the game began to program the first generation of computer role-playing games. These initial games would seem primitive compared to today's online phenomena that is World of Warcraft, but that game and all computer role-playing games that came before it and have come after it are the descendants of Gary Gygax's vision. Without Gary Gygax, modern computer games would likely be descended from simple, competition-based arcade games such as Pong.
Gary Gygax dealt with a lot of controversy throughout his life as not only rivals tried to but also extremists tried to bring down his livelihood and hobby by attacking Dungeons and Dragons as being dangerous to the minds of the disenfranchised youth that flocked to the game. At one point, Gygax required a bodyguard after receiving death threats from these extremists who believed he was a bringer of evil. These small-minded people could not see that Gygax was a teacher as much as he was a businessman. Gygax built D&D to require its players to know math and to be creative. Although the game could never replace true education, it did inspire me in ways that school never did. I found a love for art, ancient history, computers, mythology, and language through learning to play the game. I admit that it never made me love math, but it did make me realize its importance in life. That foundation made me want to learn everything I could, and I owe that love of knowledge to Gary Gygax.
It is this fact that ties gamers together; we are passionate about our hobby. Right from the beginning, Dungeons and Dragons and the role-playing games that followed it, whether created by Gygax or not, brought like-minded youths and adults together to socialize — even if it was geeky. This is one of the games most endearing and important qualities and is what sets it apart from other types of games in my opinion. Gygax always believed that the game's in-person, social aspect was Dungeons and Dragons most important aspect. “D&D is not an online game,” he once said. “There is no role-playing in an online game that can match what happens in person.” While this viewpoint might seem contrary to where the world is going, I agree with Gygax's assessment. True role-playing is meant to be a face-to-face experience when one is surrounded by friends, laughing and improvising and having fun without the burden of competition. Online role-playing has never appealed to me as it lacks that social quality, and Gary Gygax exemplified this quality. He continued to run role-playing games for family and friends and fellow enthusiasts up until his failing health took him from us — much too early.
His life and death has shocked and touched so many people in ways that they may not even be aware of. The worlds of fantasy and science fiction that have gained a measure of respect on TV and movie screens owe as much to Gary Gygax as they do to George Lucas. Popular culture would be very different without Gygax. A man like Stephen Colbert would not be the man he is today without Gygax's influence. A gamer in his youth, Colbert is known for his political satire and his semi-fictional character of the same name. Without his gaming background, one has to wonder if Colbert would have chosen the path that led him to create that character. In a fitting tribute, Colbert honored the life of Gary Gygax on March 5 by ending his show with a roll of 20-sided die. If that does not speak of the impact Gary Gygax had on the world, then I cannot convince you. Perhaps the only way to understand the worth of the man is through his own words. In an interview with Gamespy in 2004, he expressed how he wished to be remembered: “I would like the world to remember me as the guy who really enjoyed playing games and sharing his knowledge and his fun pastimes with everybody else.”
I will, Gary. I will. And thank you.
An epideictic eulogy for E. Gary Gygax
By Robert Blezard
On Tuesday, March 4, 2008, I had just returned home from class determined to begin this argument but not about the topic you are about to read. I had planned to write a tribute to the Saskatchewan Roughriders regarding the team's 2007 Grey Cup win. However, upon arriving home, turning on my computer, and reading the news of the death of E. Gary Gygax — the man who co-created the Dungeons and Dragons game with Dave Arneson — I immediately changed my mind. The decision was emotional. As I read tribute after tribute by fellow gamers on EN World, a Internet Dungeons and Dragons fan site that Gygax was also a member of, I was overcome with a sadness that I've not felt since the death of my brother. I could not understand it at first. I did not not know the man, but it felt like I had lost someone very close to me. It was a strange feeling sitting in front of my computer with tears welling up in my eyes. It is as if a small part of the game, which I enjoy so much, died with him. In my opinion, no amount of prose or poetry can be compiled to give this great man the tribute he so properly deserves. Yet, I must add my voice to the chorus and pay tribute to the Grandfather of Gaming. I must prove the worth of a man, not based on the sum of his life, but based on the sum of how his life affected others.
Ernest Gary Gygax was born in Chicago, Illonis, in 1938. The son of a Swiss immigrant and and American mother, Gygax's childhood was spent devoted to exploits of imagination rather than serious study. Years later he would discover a new medium for his imagination: tactical war games. This would eventually lead him to create a miniatures game called Chainmail and then Dungeons and Dragons — his most famous creation. Gygax would create other games throughout his life, as well as write fiction novels and short stories in the genres of fantasy, science fiction, and horror. At the time of his death, on March 4, 2008, Gary Gygax was 69 years of age. He is survived by his wife, Gail, and his six children.
Naysayers, such as indie game designer Matt Snyder, have tried to downplay Gary Gygax's life as being unimportant to anyone other than his family. They fail to see how the game he created not only changed the way people entertain themselves but also changed the type of work that many people do on a daily basis. Dungeons and Dragons and other role-playing games provide a way of melding imagination and cooperation into a game in ways that had not been conceived of before. In the past, games have always had defined winners and losers, whether it was old-style board games like Monopoly or team sports like hockey or football. Even a thinking-man's game like chess, which Gary Gygax enjoyed, has a defined winner at the game's end. Gary Gygax changed all that when he published Dungeons & Dragons: Rules for Fantastic Medieval Wargame Campaigns Playable with Paper and Pencil and Miniature Figures in 1974. He and Arneson started a tabletop game revolution that would affect the entire world.
I doubt Gary Gygax was aware of what was to come in the next thirty years as fans of Dungeons and Dragons and the idea of cooperative games molded people and games in completely unexpected ways. An entirely new subculture came to life as role-playing games became a money-making venture. Tactical Studies Rules, which Gygax founded in 1973, quickly became a leader in the tabletop game industry. His company and many others required a new type of employee: the role-playing game designer. Today, these men and woman owe their livelihood to Gygax, whose initial creation inspired them to seek a different kind of career. After the initial explosion of the game's popularity, it was not long before the growing computer revolution also became infected by Gary Gygax's genius as fans of the game began to program the first generation of computer role-playing games. These initial games would seem primitive compared to today's online phenomena that is World of Warcraft, but that game and all computer role-playing games that came before it and have come after it are the descendants of Gary Gygax's vision. Without Gary Gygax, modern computer games would likely be descended from simple, competition-based arcade games such as Pong.
Gary Gygax dealt with a lot of controversy throughout his life as not only rivals tried to but also extremists tried to bring down his livelihood and hobby by attacking Dungeons and Dragons as being dangerous to the minds of the disenfranchised youth that flocked to the game. At one point, Gygax required a bodyguard after receiving death threats from these extremists who believed he was a bringer of evil. These small-minded people could not see that Gygax was a teacher as much as he was a businessman. Gygax built D&D to require its players to know math and to be creative. Although the game could never replace true education, it did inspire me in ways that school never did. I found a love for art, ancient history, computers, mythology, and language through learning to play the game. I admit that it never made me love math, but it did make me realize its importance in life. That foundation made me want to learn everything I could, and I owe that love of knowledge to Gary Gygax.
It is this fact that ties gamers together; we are passionate about our hobby. Right from the beginning, Dungeons and Dragons and the role-playing games that followed it, whether created by Gygax or not, brought like-minded youths and adults together to socialize — even if it was geeky. This is one of the games most endearing and important qualities and is what sets it apart from other types of games in my opinion. Gygax always believed that the game's in-person, social aspect was Dungeons and Dragons most important aspect. “D&D is not an online game,” he once said. “There is no role-playing in an online game that can match what happens in person.” While this viewpoint might seem contrary to where the world is going, I agree with Gygax's assessment. True role-playing is meant to be a face-to-face experience when one is surrounded by friends, laughing and improvising and having fun without the burden of competition. Online role-playing has never appealed to me as it lacks that social quality, and Gary Gygax exemplified this quality. He continued to run role-playing games for family and friends and fellow enthusiasts up until his failing health took him from us — much too early.
His life and death has shocked and touched so many people in ways that they may not even be aware of. The worlds of fantasy and science fiction that have gained a measure of respect on TV and movie screens owe as much to Gary Gygax as they do to George Lucas. Popular culture would be very different without Gygax. A man like Stephen Colbert would not be the man he is today without Gygax's influence. A gamer in his youth, Colbert is known for his political satire and his semi-fictional character of the same name. Without his gaming background, one has to wonder if Colbert would have chosen the path that led him to create that character. In a fitting tribute, Colbert honored the life of Gary Gygax on March 5 by ending his show with a roll of 20-sided die. If that does not speak of the impact Gary Gygax had on the world, then I cannot convince you. Perhaps the only way to understand the worth of the man is through his own words. In an interview with Gamespy in 2004, he expressed how he wished to be remembered: “I would like the world to remember me as the guy who really enjoyed playing games and sharing his knowledge and his fun pastimes with everybody else.”
I will, Gary. I will. And thank you.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Ghosts/Angels in the Soul
Ok, have you ever had the feeling that you weren’t alone, when you should be? You have this sense of presence with you either while relaxing or working. It isn’t always frightening and sometimes it is actually comforting, like something was trying to protect or warn you.
Well, it has happened to me and in both ways.
Take one morning, in particular, for instance. I awoke to this sense that someone was in my bedroom with me. This presence was lying on the bed next me. Then there was the ‘sense’ of warning that I needed to get up. Well, I was frozen for a moment, as such experiences are unnerving, but I was soon up and wide awake.
However, nothing bad happened.
So what is the result? Am I simply too high strung, and I can’t completely relax, even while asleep? Are my dreams invading my conscious mind, as I wake? Or is there something supernatural about my soul?
I’ve always had this ‘feeling’, no matter where I’ve lived, that something was with me in spirit. Of course, being a big believer in faith and the afterlife, I’ve considered the idea of being watched over by angels and/or being haunted by ghosts.
The truth is likely more mundane than that. But you never know.
I’ve woken up in a cold sweat, frozen in bed, unable to move – a sense of ‘foreboding presence’ in the room with me just out of my range of sight. I’ve been walking alone, whether in the day or in the night and experienced a sense of wonder and/or fear, like someone was walking beside me.
Yet, my very modern, logical mind has always tried to make sense of such occurrences in a scientific way. Why? Because of an underlying fear of the unknown, and because in my youth I was tormented a lot by my peers.
This made me paranoid on a daily basis. It left me jaded and suspicious of new places and people. As I have gotten older it has gotten better, but it has obviously stayed with me to some degree. I still tend to isolate myself from the physical world. I’m more comfortable having friends online than in person.
There are exceptions, of course, as I have a few good, in person, friends – Dan, Dave, Gerald, Ken, Chris, Brian, Scott, and Darrell & Lisa. Yet, even these friends are rarely interacted with on a week by week basis. Why? Because of a sense of disappointment in my self, and an inability to be as equal a friend in return.
I don’t wish to burden them with my troubles.
Thus, the isolation I was talking about.
And there are others who could be my friends, but due too professional restrictions, aren’t in the same category. People I have come too feel comfortable with and trust on a certain level, if not 100% – Kate, Raina, Donna Marie, and Kevin are just a few. I can trust these people with my future self, with where I will be employed and with my health. Yet, I feel like there is this bridge between me and them, which ‘professionalism’ doesn’t allow me to cross.
I guess that is the difference between good friends and people you just know and respect. Associates, if you will.
While close friends provide comfort and it is good to have associates, family is what makes the real difference in life. For a long time, during my Twenties, I really isolated myself from my family. I convinced myself that I had to stand on my own without any real help, in order to be an adult. The truth was that I continued to fail and fall without my family. Life just wouldn’t be life without them – mom, dad, Victoria, Aunt Elaine, Aunt Connie, and Dale (rest in peace, man).
So, are there ghosts and angels in my life? Yes, there are the ghosts of my past and pain, as well as the angels I know who look out for me, family, friends, and associates.
As for the other ghosts and angels, I’ll only know when it is my time to meet God on his terms. But that’s not right now.
Friday, August 06, 2004
More and more and more writing...
I am so trying to make up for the scattered updates I've posted here.
Well, as for those things that have been mentioned before, I am continuing to go to the Steadward Centre 3 times a week. Kate, one of the staff, has asked me to step it up a bit. Now, I'm to do 15 reps per set instead of 10. Did that for the first time today. Shit, the difference is unbelievable. I haven't felt that challenged since I started going there.
My website update has slowed down to a crawl, but with good reason. I am once again doing freelance writing work for Silverthorne Games. Can't divulge anything, but there will be several templated critters in their new product Template Troves I: Serpents, Spiders & Godlings, which is now due out in the middle of August, that I designed. Plus, I get to have my work associated with the great Sean K. Reynolds.
Hmm, I guess I'm not shy about talking about work related stuff after all. Anyway, on to other matters...
I haven't been updating my threads at EN World lately. I needed a break from all the posting I was doing in my Rogues Gallery thread. I do have a new CC2 map thread going but who knows how long I'll stay with that. More than likely I'll get back to it later on this month.
In reality, I've had an urge to write some fiction. Not story hour stuff, something new. However, anything I start will likely end up being posted at EN World anyway. Well, at least if it's PG. Heh!
I might try my hand at erotica again, don't know. And I don't think I'll be posting it here. Yet, then why would I write something steamy and then not put it some place where other can read it. I did have my old yahoo group but that didn't get used enough to be worthwhile.
Hmm, perhaps something more sci-fi related is in order. I could start working on updating Realmsian Dragonstar. Lord knows it's been forever since I worked on it. Sometimes I think the story has become this huge monster that I'll never be able to finish the way I want to. Yet, it is too compelling for me to abandon. I just need the right inspiration to contine the story. Then I'll go great guns for at least two months before I need to take a break.
Decisions, decisions...
Perhaps a Time of Ages story is the next best thing to working on Realmsian Dragonstar. I've always wanted to expand on the world concept by writing an ongoing story for it. Plus, I'm positive that such a story would include a link between the real world (or at least a facsimile of it) and Rielun. The question is how do I do this without it being cheesy!
Something to think about.
I have to remember to update my resume next week.
Well, that's all for today. If your out there, I'll talk to you again soon. (If I remember.)
Love or Kin
So I'm writing something here, simply to write.
This blog feels like it needs a theme, or at least some direction. Yet, I'm too scatterbrained to come up with something. I could write about personal issues, but that feels too much like venting. I've been 'porting over my poems from my website but that can't last forever.
Case in point...
-------------
Love or Kin
Copyright 2004 (C) Robert Blezard
Darkness surrounds her, the chill of the cascade binds her to her knees.
A soft glow rises from the water around her as she waits under moon.
He’ll be there soon.
Just as she closes her eyes, his huge, scarred hands clasp her shoulders.
Instantly, she is warm against the course hair that covers his body.
Her gentle love.
They are of different blood, divided by centuries of war and strife.
Mortal enemies for as long as both races have existed in this world.
Tonight’s their last.
He must fight for his lord on the morn, against the kin of his beloved.
Not even her love can save him from this day of bitter glory.
A death of honor awaits him.
He wishes to tell her his heart, but the words fail his simple mind.
She is from a different world, how could he ever make her understand.
Why, he must die.
She pulls him closer waiting for him to embrace her like every night before.
Instead he pulls away, leaving her to wonder why he has forsaken her.
He hears her cry.
She cries out and cries out for him, hoping he’ll return to her loving arms.
Yet he leaves her to her future, for they could never have been together.
Elf and Orc.
-------------
That leads into the idea of using the blog as a development journal for my D&D campaign settings and fantasy writing. Yet, that might be too complex for just one blog. And I'm not up for starting another one.
And I'm definitely not comfortable using it for any sort of business purpose.
I could use it to index links to websites I like. But I can just as easily do that with a standard HTML document.
I think I'm just going to wing it. Maybe write a series of article like journal entries about my life, with opinions and such. Who knows at this point. Lord knows the stuff I've written so far hasn't been all that compelling. Even for me.
Ah well, spilt milk and all that.
Time to close this post and start another one.
This blog feels like it needs a theme, or at least some direction. Yet, I'm too scatterbrained to come up with something. I could write about personal issues, but that feels too much like venting. I've been 'porting over my poems from my website but that can't last forever.
Case in point...
-------------
Love or Kin
Copyright 2004 (C) Robert Blezard
Darkness surrounds her, the chill of the cascade binds her to her knees.
A soft glow rises from the water around her as she waits under moon.
He’ll be there soon.
Just as she closes her eyes, his huge, scarred hands clasp her shoulders.
Instantly, she is warm against the course hair that covers his body.
Her gentle love.
They are of different blood, divided by centuries of war and strife.
Mortal enemies for as long as both races have existed in this world.
Tonight’s their last.
He must fight for his lord on the morn, against the kin of his beloved.
Not even her love can save him from this day of bitter glory.
A death of honor awaits him.
He wishes to tell her his heart, but the words fail his simple mind.
She is from a different world, how could he ever make her understand.
Why, he must die.
She pulls him closer waiting for him to embrace her like every night before.
Instead he pulls away, leaving her to wonder why he has forsaken her.
He hears her cry.
She cries out and cries out for him, hoping he’ll return to her loving arms.
Yet he leaves her to her future, for they could never have been together.
Elf and Orc.
-------------
That leads into the idea of using the blog as a development journal for my D&D campaign settings and fantasy writing. Yet, that might be too complex for just one blog. And I'm not up for starting another one.
And I'm definitely not comfortable using it for any sort of business purpose.
I could use it to index links to websites I like. But I can just as easily do that with a standard HTML document.
I think I'm just going to wing it. Maybe write a series of article like journal entries about my life, with opinions and such. Who knows at this point. Lord knows the stuff I've written so far hasn't been all that compelling. Even for me.
Ah well, spilt milk and all that.
Time to close this post and start another one.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Current Thoughts + Poetry Transfer
Ok, time to write something here. (I do have another outlet for my writing, but I update that even less than this.)
Mainly, I've been busy writing material/new stuff for World of Kulan, as well as for my story hour at the EN World Messageboards.
I've also begun a health and wellness program at a place called the Steadward Centre, which is located on the U of A campus. This is nice, as I get to check out some eye candy, just before going inside to work on gaining strength. Plus, I've lost some weight too. (Bonus!)
I haven't done any 'professional' writing in the last while, as On-Site and the Steadward Centre are taking up all my time. Not that I'm going to On-Site, physically, much anymore. However, I am working redoing my website, The Crossroads.
I'm going for a more streamlined version using Cascading Style Sheets and a better layout, as well as color & graphics. Right now, I'm learning about CSS on my own. The fact that writing style sheets is similar to the C language has helped.
Anywho, just some current thoughts... + another poem transferred over from my website.
----------------------
Lost
Copyright 2004 (C) Robert Blezard.
Today is a day of mourning.
No one I know has died.
No great tragedy has befallen a loved one.
No… it is something else I mourn.
We’ve all heard the expression,
‘I should have stayed in bed.’
But for me, sometimes, its worst then that,
Sometimes… I wish death had come.
Everything that has ever been wrong,
Surfaces from my subconscious.
My heart, my soul...
Shuts down.
I cannot think.
I cannot see the world.
My skin freezes worse than from any wind.
Sorrow, pain… unbridled rage.
Some would call it depression.
I call it being both alive and dead,
At the same instance in time.
All I can do is lay in the dark,
And pray the hate inside passes.
Sometimes it goes as quickly as it came.
Other times it lasts for days.
But isolation is only prevention.
There is no cure for being lost.
Mainly, I've been busy writing material/new stuff for World of Kulan, as well as for my story hour at the EN World Messageboards.
I've also begun a health and wellness program at a place called the Steadward Centre, which is located on the U of A campus. This is nice, as I get to check out some eye candy, just before going inside to work on gaining strength. Plus, I've lost some weight too. (Bonus!)
I haven't done any 'professional' writing in the last while, as On-Site and the Steadward Centre are taking up all my time. Not that I'm going to On-Site, physically, much anymore. However, I am working redoing my website, The Crossroads.
I'm going for a more streamlined version using Cascading Style Sheets and a better layout, as well as color & graphics. Right now, I'm learning about CSS on my own. The fact that writing style sheets is similar to the C language has helped.
Anywho, just some current thoughts... + another poem transferred over from my website.
----------------------
Lost
Copyright 2004 (C) Robert Blezard.
Today is a day of mourning.
No one I know has died.
No great tragedy has befallen a loved one.
No… it is something else I mourn.
We’ve all heard the expression,
‘I should have stayed in bed.’
But for me, sometimes, its worst then that,
Sometimes… I wish death had come.
Everything that has ever been wrong,
Surfaces from my subconscious.
My heart, my soul...
Shuts down.
I cannot think.
I cannot see the world.
My skin freezes worse than from any wind.
Sorrow, pain… unbridled rage.
Some would call it depression.
I call it being both alive and dead,
At the same instance in time.
All I can do is lay in the dark,
And pray the hate inside passes.
Sometimes it goes as quickly as it came.
Other times it lasts for days.
But isolation is only prevention.
There is no cure for being lost.
Monday, March 08, 2004
The Write Rules
The Write Rules seminar was interesting. I learned some interesting concepts regarding business writing. Concepts regarding spelling and grammar that have changed since I went to high school.
In other news, a little accident happened at On-Site Placement Services last week. I'll simply say it involved my case manager, a dog's hard rubber chew toy, and a pain in my neck. Nothing more about that.
The main reason for me blathering on here is that I feel like I'm really neglecting this blog. Part of me says 'who has the time', while another part of me says 'well, you took the time to create it, so don't waste it'. So far, I'm still divided on it all.
I've resolved myself to write more even if it is to say 'nothing new today'.
Anyway, time to post another poem. (see next post.)
In other news, a little accident happened at On-Site Placement Services last week. I'll simply say it involved my case manager, a dog's hard rubber chew toy, and a pain in my neck. Nothing more about that.
The main reason for me blathering on here is that I feel like I'm really neglecting this blog. Part of me says 'who has the time', while another part of me says 'well, you took the time to create it, so don't waste it'. So far, I'm still divided on it all.
I've resolved myself to write more even if it is to say 'nothing new today'.
Anyway, time to post another poem. (see next post.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Ack!
Wow, I totally forgot about this. Guess I should get back to writing more here. Right now, I'm dealing with a company called On-Site Placement Services. They are a job placement company and are helping me refocus my education and skills towards becoming a graphic/web designer.
Right now, I'm learning about Adobe Illustrator CS. The program is an amazing tool, but I've yet to scratch the surface of what it can do. Studying Adobe products, including InDesign CS and InCopy CS, has given me a better sense of what I need to learn to become a web designer. I still want to be a freelance creative writer in my spare time but, lately, I'm finding my time taken up more and more by Informational Interviews and OSP Seminars.
However, this Friday, I'm going to be attending a seminar by Deane Eldredge Image Concepts Ltd called The Write Rules. It teaches all aspects of style, frequently misused words and expressions, the right tone for the right situation or person, how to eliminate writer's block, etc. Should be fun!
Right now, I'm learning about Adobe Illustrator CS. The program is an amazing tool, but I've yet to scratch the surface of what it can do. Studying Adobe products, including InDesign CS and InCopy CS, has given me a better sense of what I need to learn to become a web designer. I still want to be a freelance creative writer in my spare time but, lately, I'm finding my time taken up more and more by Informational Interviews and OSP Seminars.
However, this Friday, I'm going to be attending a seminar by Deane Eldredge Image Concepts Ltd called The Write Rules. It teaches all aspects of style, frequently misused words and expressions, the right tone for the right situation or person, how to eliminate writer's block, etc. Should be fun!
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